Awareness

I've been asking myself why I am writing this Blog. Is it just for the benefit of anyone who happens to read it? I've come to the conclusion that it is as much for my own benefit as that of anyone else. I really enjoy the discipline of asking 'Where has God been in my week?' and then putting something together in print. It is a modern form of the prayer of Examen, I guess, and helps me to discern the hand of God in the ordinary things of my ordinary life. I'm more and more convinced that this kind of awareness is an essential aspect of the spiritual life. It makes God more 'present', but it does take discipline to notice his activity in the small things. I think as well that it helps us to be alert to the movements of God in daily life, and to be more aware of what he is doing, so we can respond accordingly. Jacob discovered that he was sleeping at the very gateway to heaven without realising it. 'Surely the Lord is in this place, and I knew it not.' I don't want to go through life with my spiritual eyes shut. Do you?

Keeping in touch

I've been working away all week at a conference centre in Dorset, in the south-west of England. It was cold, the food was poor, and things were quite disorganised, but strangely it was a good week... we had some great people on the courses I was leading. One of the most difficult things for me was not being able to get on the Internet for longer than a few minutes here and there. I have become so used to being in touch through email when I am away that it is strangely disconcerting not to have such contact. I'm also used to updating my Facebook fairly regularly, and to seeing what friends are up to, so not to be able to do that for the best part of a week left me feeling out of touch, as if life was passing me by. Strange that. It shows how my life has been influenced by these new forms of communication. Of course I can survive without the Internet, and I don't need Facebook to enjoy relationships, but it has made me think about my regular contact with God. Wherever I am, and whatever I am doing, I can always speak with Him, and He with me. That's the kind of relationship I value and treasure, and I want to make sure I stay in touch with Him - that I 'abide in Him' (John 15).

I can see clearly now

I went to this opticians this morning because my reading glasses have been broken for some time and I had the opportunity to drop in at one of the major shops in town. They tested my eyes very thoroughly. Isn't it embarrassing when you can't read a single word on the card they show you, and then on the next one even the top line is fuzzy? Somehow it makes you feel incompetent and slightly stupid, as if everyone else can read this, but you can't. I thought my eyes would have deteriorated a little, but was surprised to be advised that I should have glasses for driving as well. I am not aware of having hit any parked vehicles, but not wanting to risk it, I agreed to take the free second pair for use when I'm driving - and of course they weren't really as 'free' as I expected given they needed to be tinted as well. The biggest challenge that lies ahead of me now will be keeping track of two pairs of spectacles. I have trouble with one, but with two? It's just another sign of the irresistible process of growing old. At least my spiritual vision is unimpaired and not deteriorating. And I pray that the 'eyes of my heart' will continue to enlightened so that I know more and more about Jesus.

It's finished!

I sent off the manuscript for my next book, Working from a Place of Rest, to the editor yesterday. It is always a thrilling moment for me, the culmination of a lot of hard work over a long period of time. People often ask me, 'How long does it take you to write a book?'. Well, to actually physically sit down and produce the manuscript, I would say about 6 weeks if I can work at it without interruption. But of course, I'm usually working with the material for at least two years beforehand - shaping it, and road testing it in my retreats and seminars. Then if I think the theme is significant enough to put into book form I'll do a lot of background reading to fill out my own understanding, find illustrations of what I want to say, and gather suitable quotations from others to confirm what I am presenting. So it's long process and there's a great satisfaction when the writing is completed because it really is hard work. It makes me think of the glorious cry of Jesus on the cross, 'It is finished'. The tough work of providing redemption for us was finally over, and relief and satisfaction flooded over him. But then the work of waiting. 'Will people like what I've done? How will they respond to my finished work?' Every author asks those questions, even the Author of our salvation.

When the snow falls

I should have been in Stafford today, but the weather forecast suggested it might not be wise to make the journey. I was up at 6am to check the weather, get ready etc and it looked fine this end.... but the TV suggested it would be snowing in the Midlands, and I heard that the M1 was down to one lane. In the end I decided not to travel, but I felt really bad about letting the group in Stafford down. Managed to contact them about 7.30am, and they were understanding and able to rearrange their day. It's also possible for me to go and do my stuff next Thursday, so I didn't feel so bad. But then the snow came here, and it snowed hard all morning, so I was really glad I hadn't set out. Meanwhile I've got on with a load of things I have to do, but which would have been neglected otherwise. All of which reminds me that whilst a man plans his way, it is the Lord who directs his path.